22 October, 07

I attended the talks of Nawal El Saadawi, the writer of The Hidden Face of Eve, Woman at Point Zero and God Dies by the Nile. A great writer, speaker and rebel. A rebel against all traditional establishment and a great feminist and human write activist. Here is what I jotted down from her speech:
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We need to change the language like the first world, third world, middle east, the writer of the middle east, post colonial. I hate these words as these words are the colonised words. What is the meaning of post colonial? As if the colonisation is over. No, there is still colony. America as the so called super power is colonising the world.
You say that the women in Islamic country are not free. You think you are free. No. You are also not free. You carry your hanband's name. Why? Then how are you free? You are not free too. If you say you are free, don't carry your husband's name. Feminism is not to go against men. It is a humanism. You give respect to your mother.

I watched rugby world cup final and was shocked to see blood oozing out from their head. Sports should not have such violence. Sports like literature is a creativity and there should be pleasure. England lost the match and I watched the face of the captain, so sad, as if he has lost a war. It should not be in the sports.

There is a connection between global politics and female circumcision. G. Bush and female circumcision. Veiling and nakedness are both dangerous. Both take woman just a body. There is connection between family law and state law. Both are controlled by power and money. Media is equally dangerous. It is controlled by the government's mind. We are living in a system controlled by money and power.

Creativity makes people more humane. Best doctors are the writers and musicians.

Aid is such a decieving term. Where America has given aid means Ameraca has taken aid from there, so there is more poverty.
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This is just a random notes I made during what she said and this is just a drop of what she said. An illuminating and worth attending talk.

20 Oct, 07

Today is Nawami. Rakshya invited me for a party at Llanneli. Before I went, I made a call back home and spoke to Ama and Anita. Ama blessed me on the phone: May your dream come true, you have all happiness, you have good health etc. In a deep tone. I could feel tears in her eyes and a pang of missing me. I was touched by her words.

Then I went to Rakshya's house and from their to the party hall. A tidy gathering. I enjoyed the party. It went till midnight and we parted.

17 Oct, 07

Today I went for a ramble through Swasea with Nigel. I wonder how many new things enter our life each day. The walk was not just a walk. It was like reading a whole history book. Dylan Thomas' residence. The grand view of swansea from up the hill. The docks. Dylan Thomas center. And more.

13 October, 07 ashoj 26, 064

Today I felf extreme stress. Thinning purse, distant possibility of any work and the study assignment made way into my mental space and reigned. The date for the first instalment of accommodation seems to be a gaping mouth of a ferocious beast. 26th October, just at a stone's throw. Asal is missing me a lot and weeps whenever anyone talks of papa- Anita wrote to me. He has no heart in his studies.

Coming to this distant land, spending so much, leaving behing three dependant souls insecure, did I make right decision? I wondered. Towards the evening I had headache. My head was hot and mind was not focused. I was struggling to do the assignment. Listened to the Dashain music. Flew into the goneby days of festival time. New clothes, the delicacies, family gathering, linge ping, tika and so forth. That was life. Dashain is just a few day's ahead in Nepal. I grew airy. Meditated on the music. Felt a little light. Read Kantipur online and saw a picture with Madhesi people celebrating Ghatasthapana. Jwala singh has announced ceasefire During Dashain.

Cooked and ate. Struggled a little way into the assignment untill 11 p.m. Then bed.

8th October, 07

Nothing colorful, nothing significant, nothing praiseworthy done. A slothful day slipped by taking useless ramble, to the university, in and out of library, to the citycenter and back. Emails and bus into the city center. Dropped cv at a restaurant. Kindling of hope and experiencing it extinguished. Just it. Oh, yes, I phoned home, talked to Anita. Asal did badly in today's paper. She shouted at him. He was weeping on phone and complaining about her with me. Evening meal and books and bed.

7th October, 07

Phoned to Anita. And found that she has recovered a bit. Recovered from mental stress and also from cold. This gave me a sense of relief. Knew that Asal's having exam.

Did washing at laundry. An expensive wash. Already twelve when I ate something. Went to the uni and answered emails. Emailed my assignment. Went to the city centre. Cold and shut down. Fate of citicentre on Sunday.

Back room. Cooking and bed